#and now im studying for two quizzes tomorrow

[ta-maman]

18th april, thursday | 2/100 days of productivity ⏳️

okay so i wasn't really productive in the past two days,, i did a lil chem revision during free periods and stuff but that's it. also i had my english test and i made a really stupid mistake that could've been avoided so i don't have hope for that paper 😅 and today we had a mock math test i had difficulty with soo... but it's okay because when i get around to revising it i'll do better ☺️ AAAND i got a 17/20 for one of the math quizzes we did the other day when i got up at 4 to study which was the second-highest score in class 🙌🙌 it made it really obvious to me how hard work pays off, so i feel motivated to keep grinding 💪 im skipping club right now to study for my chem test tomorrow, hopefully that goes well!

things to do:

chemistry mock paper

social studies assignment

[notedchampagne]

yo send me some asks im at a party and suffering

[stinkyhyena9000]

i need to finish study for my two quizzes tomorrow >:/ not only that but i need to finish reading the last chapter (for now) of a really good fic im ready so i can start on that pennies fic i really wanna read

[pregnant-piggy]

hi dev, congrats on 1.3k!! im sure you deserve it :)) for your 1.3k blurb may i ask for a pure fluff clingy!harry x ravenclaw!reader where its the NEWTs week and everyone's pretty busy that harry longs for his S/O's presence as they haven't been seeing each other for weeks now. thank you so much!

Hi darling, thank you! Sorry it has taken so long, there's really no excuse other than I am lazy🙃

A day off

The soft sounds of people quizzing each other and the rustling of pages, all combined with the occasional sigh of a student filled the library. Surrounded by thousands of books over hundreds of years old, you sat in the back of the library, revising your notes for Transfiguration once again.

It was in the middle of the NEWTs and for the past two weeks you had been in either the library or the Ravenclaw common room, with your head in a book. This were the most important exams you would ever take and you could not afford to fail them.

However, studying so much also meant that you had been seeing your friends very little. From waking up to going to bed, your days were filled with studying. At meals you had a book in your hand, during classes you were making a ton of notes and at night in the common room you would organize said notes. You hadn’t been outside in a week but you knew that you couldn’t take a break. You needed all the time you could get.

Harry found you there in the library, when he was returning a book he had borrowed. You were sitting in the back of the space, with your face in your hands, your eyes frantically reading the notes you had in front of you. He walked over to you and a big smile spread on your face when you saw who was standing next to your table.

‘Hey,’ you said softly, lifting your head from your hands and welcoming Harry with a quick kiss. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘What are you doing here? It’s Sunday!’ Harry said as he took a seat next to you.

‘I just have to get over this one more time before tomorrow,’ you mumbled while you turned your gaze back to your notes.

Harry could see that your eyes were red and there were bags under your eyes. Undoubtedly it was not just this morning and only these notes; you probably had stayed up all night. ‘Let’s take a break today.’

‘Harry, I can’t take a break. I have to study,’ you said and you took a new sheet of notes.

‘Come on, babe,’ Harry said and he took your hands, so you were forced to turn to him. ‘I haven’t seen you in weeks. I miss you.’

You opened your mouth to say something back, but Harry’s eyes were determined and instead you sighed, nodding your head. ‘Alright, but just today.’

‘Sure, sure,’ Harry mumbled, already taking all the papers from the table and putting them in your bag. He took your hand and pulled you from your seat. ‘Let’s have some fun.’

 

The whole day you spent with Harry. You strolled the grounds together; played games in the courtyard; you went with him to his quidditch practice, where you tried to sneak a glance at your notes but Harry flew over and took them from you.

At the end of the day you were sitting on a couch in the Gryffindor common room with Harry’s head in your lap. The day was bleeding into the night and the sky coloured dark orange like the fire in front of you. The students in the room were all chatting softly, some studying and as the evening progressed more and more people went to bed.

Your fingers were playing with the dark curls on Harry’s head, while you stared at the fire. Twirling the ends around your fingers you got lost in your thoughts for a while, until Harry turned on his back and looked at you. His hand took yours and he pressed a small kiss on your palm.

‘Thank you for such a lovely day,’ you said and Harry smiled at you.

‘I am just glad I got to spend a day with you,’ he said. ‘You tend to hide away when you have to study, but I want you to know that I will always be here.’

A smile spread on your lips and Harry got up, sitting next to you so he could press a kiss to your lips. You wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled him closer, letting yourself soften into his touch.

As he pulled away Harry brushed his nose against yours and he grinned. He kissed you once again shortly and then sat back next to you, pulling your legs over his lap. His fingers started to trace figures the outside of your thigh.

‘I love you,’ you whispered as you rested your head on his shoulder and wrapped your arm around his waist.

‘I love you too.’

[lideria]

Give Me a Few. | Johnny

Request: hi hi can you write smtg with johnny? like anything hhhh im soft for the man

Author’s Note: I miss school. Yes, that might be a crime but hear me out: this quarantine’s got me missing school and having crises over assignments and quizzes and tests, which is crazy to me. So, this shall be a college fic.

Warnings: A few swear words and a little anxiety. English is my second language so there might be errors + my brain is pushing a writer’s block on me but I won’t let it so there might be some complications with the flow loves I’m sorry.

Word Count: 1.752 IT’S SHORT.

Genre: Fluff, Angst if you like squint really hard, college!au, platonicfriends!au

Hope everyone who reads it enjoys!! 💚Have a lovely time, and good night for me lol

“The fuck?”

Johnny’s head bolts up at the frustrated question. He sees you hunched over the printed papers with your mechanical pencil in your hand and your phone in the other, scrunched eyebrows looking at the white surface scribbled all over with equations and formulas. The desk has eraser dust all over it, all from the past few hours of tussling with questions he thought must simply be too difficult. “That doesn’t make any sense, you sure that’s right?”

He can hear the faint “Dude yes, I used the calculator.” of your friend on the other end of the line, and sees your hand spring up to your temple, rubbing the spot as you let out a sigh. Shortly after, though, the mechanical pen comes back in contact with the paper. “Okay okay. Just guide me through that one more time please.”

Your friend cleans their throat so clearly Johnny can hear it, and with that he returns to his own share of notes. He is much more relaxed than you are since he has left his fair share of difficult examinations behind, and although he has a lot more memorizing to do still, it is whatever. Just two more to go.

It takes a few minutes for your friend to go over everything they had just told you, with you writing the formulas and equations down step by step, circling the ones you deemed important. You thank your friend for helping before hanging up.

Which is when the mechanical pencil is thrown out of your hand and onto the desk. “I’m gonna fail this final so bad,” You whine out. “Why make the course mandatory if half the faculty doesn’t even get it?” Leaned back on the chair, you rub your eyes with your fists. There is nothing more you want other than being done with the finals already and to never have to be acquainted with this course ever again— but you also have to pass it in order for that to become true.

“Should I just help?” Johnny suggests, his own studies long forgotten at that point. Not that he had been doing a particularly good job at focusing on them.

He sees you hunch back over the desk, looking at him with your hands tiredly placed on your cheeks. “Hasn’t it been like.. 2 semesters since you’ve taken this? Plus, you have a test tomorrow.”

Johnny clicks his tongue. “It’s history anyway— I couldn’t care less, it’s easy. Multiple choice.” Shutting his notebook close (which still amazes you how he can take notes by hand of a class like history where it is dominantly lecture material that matters), he stands up and instead takes a seat on the chair beside yours. “I’d rather struggle with formulas than read about every revolution there ever was.”

“Easy to say when you ace tests without studying for them.” You mumble, which makes Johnny smile. He could not protest that because it was true. He was a good listener during class, which helped him tons with assignments, which in turn helped him not forget the class material. The only type of courses that truly got to him were the ones where most things are dependent on discussions, arguments or debates where he needed to improvise. Not because he is bad at any of them, just because he is the type to take problems more subjectively rather than objectively.

Johnny tells you to take a breather for a few minutes while he tries to get what is going on in the question. You see this as an opportunity to take a few sips from your sugary drink that is supposed to get you through this night’s study session that is sure to become an all nighter considering you still have a couple of pages to work out. Then you check your phone, scrolling through your social media for a little, until Johnny’s hand lightly lands on your forearm. “I think I figured it out.”

“You did?” The question sounds more hopeful than it should have. “Mhm,” His eyes land on your phone momentarily before he continues speaking. “Let’s have dinner first, though.”

For you to agree he almost has to literally drag you outside of the study room the two of you had occupied, but he manages to bring you out by wrapping his arms around your shoulders and waddling his way out until the door closes and locks behind you. The two of you then make your way to the cafeteria just because you could not be bothered with making any food or asking for delivery.

While you eat, Johnny tells you he is almost sure you could not get the question because your brain was fried rather than being unable to do it. Although not knowing if it is true or not you are thankful that he says it, because it gives you a motivational boost.

Both because you are hungry and because you really need all the studying you can get, you hurry up eating— barely even tasting the food before you leave to get back to the study room.

When you are back both of you immediately go back to your seats, putting your phones on flight mode before abandoning them at the far end of the desk. Johnny takes your mechanical pencil and eraser, erasing your jotted answer before starting to re-read and rephrase the question for you. He writes down the answer step by step, making sure you truly understand everything and stopping when you need to get your head wrapped on some things.

And when he erases his writings so you can write the answer down, he gives you encouraging pats on your shoulder, letting his hand rest there as a reminder that he is there if you need to ask something.

At some point he places his chin on your shoulder as well to watch you. Not you writing your answer down, but you. “You’re being annoying right now.” You mumble, to which he chuckles slightly. “Am I?”

“You are,” Confirming the statement, you tap down at the desk. “Just look. I got the right answer this time.”

He does. The smile that spreads across his face soon after he does so makes you proud. “See, I told you it was only your overworked brain.”

With a roll of your eyes you thank him, before turning back to the many practice questions that awaited you. The questions start coming as a breeze for the first couple of hours as you gather help from your textbooks with your freshened mind. Johnny starts to play one of his many playlists with chill songs on it, reaching out for his phone to do it before also reaching out for his notebook and highlighters, returning to history out of the sheer fact that it would make him feel better if he studied while you were.

The music in the background provides a nice ambiance in the room, much more lighthearted and relaxed than how it has been for the whole study session so far. Johnny and you take turns leaving the room to walk around, partly to get some exercise and partly to delay the point where you would get sleepy.

The night seems to go by faster after you start studying for the second time. And surely after some time, you had to start leaving the study room not for short walks, but to wash your face in order to stay awake.

Letters slowly start to form a gibberish language in your mind, numbers becoming a jumble of weird lines and strokes. What really breaks all that you have left of wakefulness, though, is when Johnny starts softly humming to the songs on his never-ending playlist.

His voice is deep and strains when he is using such a low tone to hum to the songs, but it is still quite the attention catcher. You cannot help but start listening to him, and you certainly cannot help your hand that trails off of the practice questions. Within a few songs’ time, your eyes get droopy and your world gets droopy, too. But you honestly try to fight off the sleep.

Yet, sleep is much stronger than whatever is keeping you awake.

“I think I’m gonna take a nap,” The announcement comes as a surprise even to you, but you reach out for your bag and drag it until it is in front of you on the desk. “What’re you doing?”  Johnny throws a soft yet questioning look at you even though it must be obvious what you are doing. “I’m gonna use it as a pillow.”

“Just lay your head on my arm,” He says as if it is nothing, and shrugs a little when you look at him with your own pair of questioning eyes. “My cardigan’s thick and soft enough to be comfortable for both you and me.”

You smile at him, and pull your bag full of books and binders aside. Reaching out for his left arm, you hold his hand lightly— even though he is fully capable of lifting his forearm to place it in front of you— and drag his arm to the space previously occupied by your bag. He returns to his notes, unbothered, and gets back to humming along to the songs.

When you place your head on his forearm you smile at the scent of his cardigan, the scent of the coffee he had had before you started studying still embedded into the fabric.

You shut your eyes that do not have the motivation to fight off the sweet invitation of sleep. And if anybody ever asked you, you would say you fell asleep before Johnny finished the line he was humming to.

And if anybody ever asked you, it was the one of the best (and deepest) sleeps you had; your face engulfed in him and his cardigan’s warmth, your arms closed around his forearm, hunched over the desk in a position that is surely going to ache your back— until there is a scratch at the top of your head and through your hair. “Hm?”

“An hour’s passed.” He whispers, his hand still in your hair. You draw his arm closer to you, nuzzling your face into the fabric. You were not the one with a test tomorrow, and you were surely not the one with a test tomorrow that you could ace with your eyes closed. “Gimme 15 minutes.”

You hear him laugh. “Okay, big baby.”

[ocdhuacheng]

why can’t things just be SIMPLE

[cherryeol04]

Tomorrow, Today

Words: 3k

Summary: You’re not entirely sure what you’re doing with your life. Thankfully, your visited by an angel who helps guide you.

‘You keep pushing me while my eyes are half-covered’

You pulled the earbuds outs as the last Bell of first period rang and you were once more trapped in your study period. You always thought it was strange to have a study period in first period, but it seemed better than the alternative; science, history or worst of all, math. It was a period you could use to catch up on the homework you failed to do the night before and get in a little bit of studying before the quiz you would inevitably have in your third period. That teacher swears that she only gives pop quizzes. But there's nothing ‘pop’ about having a quiz daily at the beginning of the class and most of the material was stuff you hadn't covered yet. She was crazy and you were absolutely sure of it.

Your eyes moved to the front as the teacher stood from his desk. As he rose so did everyone else and you reluctantly joined. Running through the same mundane morning routine that just seemed to suck the life out of you, you were finally allowed to sit back down. With the instructions the same as always “study”, you plug your earbuds in and open up your chemistry textbook, your notebook open and posed, just ready to be written in. You were honestly thankful that music was allowed in the class because utter silence for nearly an hour would just drive you absolutely crazy.

Your fingers flew over the screen of your iPod, unlocking it and pulling up your music. You wanted to make sure it was on repeat of your new, current favorite song. It was by a group called JJ Project, aptly named for the two members that made up this group, Park Jinyoung and Im Jaebum. They had the singing voices of angels and their new single, Tomorrow, Today, was absolutely your favorite song. While many people could probably argue with you (and most likely would, knowing those crazy fans) that they had better songs, even in their fully formed group Got7, you have never heard a better song in your life. Mainly because the lyrics struck something deep within you. Feelings and confusion that you thought only you suffered from.

‘Somebody let me know, Tell me which way to go, Cuz I don’t, don’t, don’t know’

It was your senior year of high school. At the end of the year marked a big transition in your life. You were expected to go to college, find a major that would eventually lead you into your career. A career that would fully support you and whatever family you would have in the future. All the while, also having a social life to go and meet some nice boy and settle down with and eventually marry. Not to mention you were also expected to take care of your parents as they got older in life, since they spent 18 years of their life caring for you. At least you didn’t have siblings, but sometimes you wished you did. Maybe if you did, all the pressures of life wouldn’t be on your shoulders. You could share the responsibilities. Of course you would probably still be the first born and expected to care for them and be their role model. But maybe that wouldn’t have been so bad. At least you would have someone to talk to about your fears and worries in life.

Sure you had your parents, but would they really understand? Maybe, but as it was, they see life as a never ending routine. Wake up, study, pass exams, go to college, get a good career, make a lot of money, come home, eat and do it all over again. A never ending cycle like a robot. Up, work, down. Over and over like a mindless zombie and that was honestly a scary future to think about. You had your friends, and yes they were all going through the same things you were going through. Studying, exams, searching for colleges. But your friends somehow still bested you. Two of them were in the top 3% of the school with their scores. Your best friend having tested out of high school a year before due to her high scores on placement exams and was already in college. Another friend in your group could care less because in less than four months, she was going to be married to her high school sweetheart (who was three years older than her). He already had a secure job working with his father, but was going to school to get a degree and climb the corporate ladder. She needed to do absolutely nothing; her life was set.

And then there was you. You struggled day to day to finish your homework. Not because you had a tough life at home, or had to work after school. But because you hated school. You found it not only a waste of time but it was also very challenging for you. You never saw the need to be competitive and strive to be the best. You had absolutely no idea what you wanted to do with your life. Of course your parents knew what they wanted you to do with your life. But you wanted to make those choices, you didn’t want them to be made for you. And you didn’t want to make the choices that you thought were right, only to look back and wonder what your life would have been if you chose a different path. Would it be different? Was this the right choice? Should you go this way, or that way?

It was confusing and stress inducing. And the only solace you could seek was within your music. That’s why this song was so meaningful to you. It was like these people were in your head and could hear your struggle. Their song was about this, the struggle of choosing the right path in life without fear and regret that they chose the wrong way to go. So blind as to which was the right path for them, how could they make the right choice or answer the questions that life threw at them when they didn’t even know the answers themselves.

It was like your theme song; your life song. Tomorrow, Today. Where would you be tomorrow? How could you possibly know when you’re still living today? How could you possibly see into the future?

A heavy sigh left you as you laid your head down on the desk, eyes closing. You let your mind wander as you lost yourself in the song. Darkness surrounded you with a warm, welcoming embrace and you found yourself falling deeper and deeper into it. A gentle touch and a soft call of your name was pulling you from the embrace. You didn’t want to go, but the voice sounded so sweet, so soft, you couldn’t help but be curious as to who was calling you.

Your eyes opened slowly and they were flooded with light. But not the harsh light of the classroom you had been in. But a soft, natural light, which was strange to you. A soft groan left you as your eyes adjusted to the light for a moment, the large tree overhead finally taking shape and you wondered, where it came from. The sound of birds chirping also caught your attention and you were slowly becoming aware of the fact that you were outside. How and when did that happen? You were just in the classroom...weren’t you?

“Y/N.” You tilt your head back towards the voice and the face of the mysterious person suddenly comes into view. You have seen many handsome men before in your life, but none as handsome as this man. Such fair skin, amazing hair, gorgeous eyes and such plush lips. You swore you’ve seen him before, but you weren’t sure where. You also could swear that this was a dream, because honestly, how did you go from inside a classroom to outside under a tree? But that thought soon dissipated as the male smiled at you, his eyes crinkling as he did so and you thought it was honestly the cutest thing in the world. How could this man go from handsome to adorable in less than five seconds?

“Hey, are you awake? You went to sleep.” Sleep? Yeah, you remember going to sleep. Frowning, you stared at him for a moment before sitting up and looking around. It was an open grassy field with a beautiful view of the city out in the horizon. The sun was shining brightly above, making you feel nice and hot, but the occasional breeze came through to cool you off, making you feel warm and cozy. Turning your body, you realize your head been resting in his lap and judging from the items around you, he had been reading? Maybe this was some sort of picnic? There was a basket on the other side of him. “What’s wrong?” he asked quickly, worry suddenly etched on his face.

“I…” you trailed off, eyes once more taking in your surroundings, trying to make sense of all of this confusion. How? When? Where and why? Looking back at him, you let out a soft yet confused laugh. “This is going to sound crazy but I don’t know where I am. Or how I got here. Or who you are.” The words tumbled right out of your mouth and it was like a light bulb was turned on in his mind. There was this strange look of understanding that crossed his features and he nodded slowly. This had to be a dream then. How could someone just seem to know? How could this guy just be so alright with what you said? You assume that you know him and you’re at least friends with him, if not something more. So how could he just be cool with the weird words that just left you? It’s not like you got hit in the head and went unconscious and now you have amnesia. Right?

“I get it.” he said and stood. He carefully placed his book in the basket and picked it up before holding out his hand, smiling once more at you. “Come with me.” he said. You were a little hesitant at first, to just take the hand of this random stranger, who was still so calm and collected about this whole thing! “Y/N, trust me.” Oh yeah, like you were simply going to just trust someone who told you to trust them. But something inside you told you to take his hand. So you did. Grasping it tightly, he pulled you up and just as suddenly as you found yourself in that field with him, your surroundings changed once more. Gone was the sunshine, the cool breeze and beautiful horizon. It was gloomy, overcast and you were standing at the end of a road. Before you were two signs, both arrows to let drivers know they could either go left or right. Two signs, one choice. Which way to go?

“I don’t get it.” you found yourself saying as you turned to stare at the male to your left, but he wasn’t there. Confused, you turned quickly to your right and he wasn’t there either. You turned in a circle, searching for the man that just been there, had just held your hand. But he was nowhere to be seen. You felt fear and panic start to set in. You were in a strange place, alone, with no guide to tell you what to do or how to get back. “Oh my god.” you whispered, hands moving to run through your hair as you exhaled slowly. Your eyes moved back to the signs and you slowly walked towards them. Looking to the left, you saw nothing but an empty road. Looking to the right, you saw the same thing. Two different paths, two different ways to go.

“How do I know which way is the right way?”

“Follow your heart.”

It was a soft voice, but you knew you had heard it before. It sounded exactly like the man that had just been with you. Now he was telling you to follow your heart? Well it was a little hard to do that when your mind kept coming up with scenarios of the worst case situation if you picked the wrong direction. How could you possibly pick and not know about the other way? You felt a soft, warm touch to your shoulder, the same you felt right before you had woken up. It was comforting and it silenced your brain long enough for your heart to take the lead and make your choice. Turning to the right, you stared at the road and nodded. This was the right path.

This was your path. You began walking with more confidence than you had ever felt before in your life. For once, you didn't feel lost. You didn't feel like every choice you made in your life was a mistake. You didn't feel like others were pushing you to make this choice. You made it this time. And it's the choice you were so proud to make.

As you walked down the road the skies grew darker and darker, but not once did you falter in your belief that this was the right choice. You kept walking until all that was around you faded to black and you were once more wrapped in the warm embrace of darkness.

“Y/N!”

Jolting awake, you looked around quickly as your earbuds fell from your ears. You stared up at your friend, her worried eyes scanning your face. “Are you alright? We're gonna be late for art class.” she said

Sitting up slowly, you looked around the familiar classroom and let out a sigh. A dream. It really had been just a dream. “Y/N?”

“Ah yeah. Sorry.” You said quickly and scrambled to grab your stuff and pack it in your bag. Standing, you smiled at her, before covering your mouth to stifle the loud yawn that left you. “Let's go.”

“If you say so, sleeping beauty. Have any good dreams?” she asked as she walked out of class with you.

“I wouldn't call it a good dream. But it as a dream.” You said with a shrug.

“Yeah? Tell me about it.”

“Ah...maybe later? I'm still trying to understand it myself.” You told her with a chuckle. You both made it to class with a few seconds to spare, the late bell ringing just as you both took your seat. After another mundane routine of greeting and instructions, you were left to work on your class project, a portrait of a person that you had yet to start because honestly, you had no idea who to draw. Until now.

Setting up the table easel, you attached the sketch paper and started working. Your hand moved effortlessly, sketching out each smooth and beautiful feature. Losing yourself in your sketch, you're just about done with it when you finally pull back to rest for a moment, your back screaming in relief.

“Wow! So that's who you've been drawing? That's the best sketch of Jinyoung I've ever seen.” your friend said in awe. Jinyoung? You sat there and looked at the sketch and you realized the male in your dream was indeed Jinyoung. This realization suddenly put the whole dream in perspective and you smiled to yourself.

“Follow your heart.” You whispered to yourself and grinned. That's exactly what you were going to do.

~*~Eight Months Later ~*~

For your graduation present, your parents got you tickets to a Got7 concert and a Got7 fanmeeting. They were so proud of you. You had turned around so quickly, getting better grades in school and you finally decided what you wanted to go to school for. While they weren't the biggest supports of an arts school, your national win in the art contest had all but proven to them your talent for drawing.

As you made your way down the table, getting your album signed by each member, you clutched tightly to your 1st place sketch of Jinyoung. It felt like forever and not that you weren't grateful to be able to see all the other members (Got7 was one of your favorite groups after all), you were dying to give this gift that the other members always eyed, wondering if it was theirs.

At last you reached Jinyoung and after the small greeting, you lifted up the drawing, pressed against a hard black cardboard back and laminated so nothing could ruin it. The 1st place ribbon was still attached to it and across the top read ‘Tomorrow, Today’. Jinyoung stared at it for a moment, marveling before accepting it with a gracious smile. Carefully he sat it next to him on the floor, leaning up against the chair so it wouldn't be trampled or stepped on.

“Thank you. It's beautiful.” he said. Simple words but they had you blushing. He would probably never understand how important that drawing was to you or the meaning behind it, but you did and knowing that he now had the source of your motivation and confidence, it made you happy. You were no longer lost and confused. You knew which path was yours and you were going to walk down it with your head held high and you were going to meet any forks in the road with confidence and follow your heart in making your decisions.

You watched as he leaned forward and uncapped his pen and started writing. You thought he was signing, but after a few seconds, his hands started making the large movements that signified his signature before he passed back the album. With a bow, you took it with a smile and started moving down to the last member. Looking down at the album, you read over the words careful.

‘Always follow your heart, Y/N. I'll always be rooting for you. Fighting~’

Brows furrowing, you quickly look back and stared at Jinyoung. He was looking back at you and gave a wink, which only added to the confusion you felt. It had all been a dream…

Right?

[raiswriting]

muse

request: art major!reader w law major!doyoung pls :cc bullet note format if u can!!!

a/n: he’s a year older than you but it doesn’t matter that much

warning: a few swear words oopsie

genre: fluffy college!au

pairing: doyoung x reader

summary: ummm basically just how you and doyoung meet and get to know each other

word count: 5.1k (oops)

lets GOOOOOOOO

okay so basically college has been a JOURNEY

people ALWAYS had some shit to say as soon as they found out you were an art major

it was usually “what are you going to do with that” “do you know how unsteady that career path is”

liKE I GET IT

do they really think they’re telling you something new????

oh I’m sorry your majoring in business Susan™ and you decide to throw away your passions just because some high school counselor told you that you wouldn’t be able to support yourself but IM going to make my passion a career

lol sorry I have a lot of feelings

now onto how you met your mans doyoung

your freshman and sophomore years, you had only seen him in passing

tbh you barely recognized him when you saw him more than once

you knew him as “that one dude that i always see in the dining hall wearing suits”

then junior year you got a job at the convenience store on campus (lets get this BREAD)

pls tell me it isn’t some weird niche thing that only my school has

aNyWHO he started coming in around 2 am right before closing

and ALWAYS picked up 3 coffees all of which had double shots of espresso

this happened about 2 or 3 times a week

(which is very unhealthy guys gals and nonbinary pals pls try to drink cold water instead, it helps wake me up or green tea)

so despite seeing him so often at work, he began to appear less and less everywhere else

were you lowkey kinda sad about it???

mAYhaPS

that was until winter quarter started

you needed an elective class, SO you figured ‘eh why not take philosophy’ you had heard around that the professor is really chill and overall the class wasn’t supposed to be that bad

WELL GUESS AGAIN

 because that really nice professor that everyone loved isn’t the one teaching the class this quarter

but hey you figured let’s go into this with an open mind and hope for the best

well on day one of this class (which is a 9 am by the way) guess who struts through the door

mister “that one guy i’d always see wearing a suit” who became mister “that one dude who always buys too much coffee at 3 am”

the man… the myth…… the legend………….MISTER KIM DOYOUNG

yep and ya boi decided to sit 2 seats down from you, it was too far to say hi or anything (esp bc you had never really spoken to him before) but like he was also just close enough for it to be awkward

so class went by normally you found out that the new professor wasn’t THAT bad but there was definitely gonna be a lot of work involved

so yeah life carries on as normal

you still see him all the time at the convenience store

one night it had been a particularly rough shift

your alarm didn’t go off, so you were running late, it had started to rain on your walk to work, and when you finally got there your manager apparently had someone piss in his cheerios because he had S U C H an attitude because you were

 TWO

MINUTES

LATE

you were sat behind the counter after what felt like hours of sweeping and mopping the floors

that’s when he walked in

you didn’t even lift your head to greet him as “hi, welcome” crawled itself out of your mouth

you did however notice when he sat his 3 cans of coffee in front of you

“hey your y/n right?”

 “that’s what it says on my nametag”

“haha yeah it does. i think i have you in my philosophy class”

when you finally met his eyes, you felt a little bad

you had kinda been giving him the cold shoulder for something that wasn’t his fault

 you gave him a little smile

“yeah i am. doyoung right?”

he nodded slightly

the air was a little awkward and silent as you scanned his coffees

as you handed him the receipt he asked “hey do you maybe want to study together sometime. i mean our test is in like two weeks and it’s a quarter of our grade so like if you were free we could hang out and get some work done?”

dUDE you froze

here he was standing right in front of you; messy hair, sweatpants, a sweatshirt repping your school logo and looking very nervous (but very attractive lmao)

i guess your reply took a little too long because he quickly started to back peddle

“i mean if you prefer to study alone that’s cool. i just always see you during lecture and you look like you understand the material and sometimes i get a little lost in terminology but if you don’t want to that’s fine too.”

you quickly snapped out of your haze

 “no, no. i would love to study with you. here let me give you my number so we can meet up. most of my classes are in the morning so any time after like noon should be fine.”

 you grabbed his receipt back and quickly scribbled your number on it before handing it back

“just text me when you want to get together”

 okay honestly you had never been one to give out your phone number just like that and you didn’t really like studying with people

but something about him made it so hard to say no

you just had this urge to get to know him

so when he texted you a few days later asking if you were free to study that night

of course you said yes

and it went pretty smoothly

he has a much better understanding of the material than he let on at first

he even ended up helping you understand a few things

you got together w few times over the next couple of weeks

each time you met you got to know each other more and more

yall quickly became friends

well yall became friends after the first night studying because lets be real it was awKWARD

like neither of you felt particularly comfortable yet because this was the first time you had actually hung out with each other despite knowing of each other’s existence for two years

oh yeah that’s something you found out after getting to know one another

 he had always seen you around campus and wanted to get to know you but never did because he thought it’d freak you out having a random stranger coming up to you like

‘hey I know you don’t know me but I see you all the time. let’s be friends.’

which isn’t THAT crazy but to each their own

okay but let’s jump to the time 2 days before your exam

you guys agreed to meet up at the library and the plan was to study for A WHILE just to make sure you were prepared ya know?

so like you get there and he was already sitting in a room waiting

 when you open the door he gets up to hug you

which he hasn’t ever done before

and like tbh he was really warm and smelled really nice like it his cologne wasn’t too strong, and it smelt sweet but also very inviting which isn’t really a scent but like do you get me? and he gave a really tight hug like the type that you didn’t want to let go of it felt as though you could stay there forever (this is also where you lowkey start having feelings for him but shhh because you don’t realize it yet)

so back the point

obvi you start studying and besides the hug nothing was really that different

you got through the material, quizzed each other, talked a bit

ya know the usual

time flew by and the next thing you know it’s 12:30 am and the library would be closing at 1 so you decide to wrap it up

“alright doyoung i’ll see you in class. get some rest before the test okay?”

 “yeah yeah i will” he rolled his eyes a little bit

 “seriously dude. i know you. go straight to sleep when you get back to your place”

he worried you sometimes. He really wanted to do well and the applications for law school were opening up soon, so he’s been kinda stressed no matter how much he tried to hide it and this test coming up isn’t helping

“i will. i promise.”

he walked you out of the library and you two would usually part ways and walk alone to your apartments

before you could turn and say goodbye doyoung was already speaking

“hey it’s a lot darker out here than usual”

you looked up at the pitch-black sky

“yeah I guess it is, oh well at least I have my pep-“

 “what? you have your pepper spray right?”

“no i forgot that i let my roommate borrow it. she’s going to a sorority thing and won’t be back until like 3 or 4. it’s fine though my apartment is only like a 10-minute walk. goodnight do”

“wait y/n. i’ll walk you back. it’s way too late and too dark for you to go home”

“no i couldn’t ask you to do that. you’re law and society class is at 8 am tomorrow so you need to get some sleep.”

 “well i won’t be able to sleep anyway if I’m staying up worried about you. so lead the way.”

despite the cold fall air, your face felt hot

like you know that it’s normal for friends to be worried about each other but that didn’t make doyoung saying it any less charming

the walk back was nerve wracking

you guys normally don’t hang out outside of the context of studying

so like this was weird, nice but weird

and once you go to your door there was a cast of silence

doyoung was just looking at you

normally it would make you kinda uncomfy/insecure but right now you were calm

there was something about looking into his eyes

the brown was so warm and inviting

after a few seconds of the comfortable silence, he finally looked away

and I awkwardly cleared my throat “thank you for walking me home doyoung”

 “of course, i’m just gald to know you got here safely”

“so um, i was gonna wish you luck just in case we don’t see each other before the test but i mean judging from our study session you won’t need it though.”

he giggled and i swear someone could have mopped up your heart because it was in a puddle on the floor

“shut up y/n. thank you though. i always appreciate your kind words. do you want to meet for lunch after the exam? i usually have a lab afterwards but it got cancelled so if you’re free we should meet up.” asjdjjklcbclkNCKDLSNCOS

“yeah i am free. i guess i’ll see you then.”

 he took a few steps back “yeah i guess you will. goodnight y/n”

“goodnight doyoung. actually get some sleep tonight, yeah?”

you could see his shoulders shake with laughter as he walked down the steps

to say you were smitten would be an UNDERSTATEMENT

the smile that showed up didn’t leave even after you fell asleep

when you get to class on that friday morning, doyoung is already sitting in his usual seat

the bags that usually take their place beneath his eyes are barely visible today

hopefully he took your advice and actually went to sleep

after the test you both got some burgers for lunch and just talked it had nothing to do with the test which was nice

i guess y’all make a great pair because once the scores came out, both of you got A’s

after that studying together became a routine

every tuesday, thursday and saturday leading up to the next test,  you guys would review or sometimes just hang out

it was a mutual decision to help each other study

even if you didn’t share the class, one would be there to quiz and make sure the other focused (most of the time it worked, other times you’d be the reason they got distracted and vice versa)

the two of you would go out for lunch on those days instead

as the quarter drew to a close and the break got nearer and nearer as did finals week

you and doyoung tried to keep up with your study schedule but it was getting harder

you had artwork due

you were particularly stressed over a sculpture that was assigned

your teacher gave you those choice of clay or marbleas a medium and clearly you chose clay

you were going to do marble but then you remembered the other 3 tests you need to prepare for and a portfolio that had to fit the theme of mythology

so basically you had a lot of art to produce and NO INSPIRATION like none, zero, zip, zilch, nada

you sat in the room you had reserved in the arts building

a pile of clay sat atop a slab of rock, a blank page of a sketchbook sat next to that

scrolling through pinterest had stopped working long ago and at this point you were losing hope

ring, ring, ring

doyoung’s name popped up on your screen

it was odd because you two usually texted for everything

“hey, do what’s up?”

“hi y/n i was just wondering if you wanted to grab some fro-yo. i just got out of another test and could use some company”

“ahh, doyoung i’m sorry but i’m stuck doing work. do you remember that mythology sculpture i told you about? well, it’s due next Wednesday and i haven’t even started on it yet”

his voice sounded so concerned “is everything okay? how are you doing?”

“i’m doing okay, just tired. i’ve been trying so hard but can’t find any inspiration” you sighed into the phone, looking out the window of your room

“what room are you in?”

“room 247 in building B. why?”

“just sit tight.”

the call ended before you could ask any more questions

okay when i tell yall it was less than five minutes and he was walking through the door just know that what i really mean is he rAN FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF CAMPUS TO COME COMFORT YOU

so yeah, he got there huffin and puffin, ready to blow your house down (with love)

“doyoung, what are you doing here?”

“well you were upset.” his tone was so matter-of-fact, and his eyes were so wide and innocent

honestly he looked so cute but like you were still very confused

what was he doing there?????

yeah you were upset but you also didn’t want to worry him

he casually walked over to a seat beside a window and pulled something out of his backpack

as he got closer and reached his hand out for you to take it, you noticed it was a sandwich

“it’s ham and cheese. light mayo, no lettuce or tomato”

when your eyes looked up at him he wouldn’t make eye contact

“you said this is the only way you take your sandwiches”

yALL 

you only told him this once in passing because he was eating a sandwich with mayo

but pls tell you are putting the pieces together

he stopped to get you food and made it across campus in 5 minutes

the walk alONE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN 10 MINUTES

HE STOPPED AND GOT YOU FOOD TO MAKE SURE YOU WEREN’T SKIPPING ANY MEALS

MARRY THID MANFSJDLFG

alrighty anywho

obviously you took the sandwich and spent 5 minutes thanking him for getting it for you

he sat back down in his seat near the window as you guys chatted for a bit

the conversation slowed slightly and you were able to just look at him

the light was bouncing off his face perfectly

his eyes looked like freshly brewed coffee. they were warm and inviting

his smile somehow managed to outshine the light pouring in

there he was

in all of his glory

your muse

your inspiration

his expression shifted to one of confusion

“y/n, why are you looking at me like that”

he could be your subject for not only the sculpture but also the portfolio as well

“okay this may be an odd favor and you can feel free to say no”

your leg couldn’t stop bouncing up and down and you thought your hands might catch a cramp from all the wringing they were doing

“don’t be silly. what is it?”

“well, i was thinking maybe you could be the model for my sculpture.”

 “of course i will but i thought it was supposed to be about mythology and i’m no greek god”

he chuckled a little bit

“shut up do. are you kidding me? your shoulders are like a mile wide. you have a great jawline and that smile? you’d have all the mortal girls falling for you i mean i did. that sounds like god-material to me”

he threw his head back laughing

mostly to hide the huge blush creeping up his cheeks

“okay, okay. i’ll pose for you. what do i have to do?”

“just sit still so that i can take some measurements of your face and then i’ll take some photos for reference afterwards.”

doyoung did as he was told for the most part

he sat there patiently

he kept peeking at your sketchbook as you laid out the rough ideas for a few of your other pieces

tbh you hadn’t even noticed

you were in the ZONE, you hadn’t been this inspired in a while and you wanted to take full advantage of it

you also hadn’t noticed the ,,,, um,,,, lack of space,,,,,, between the two of you

well doyoung had, to say the least

he sat there desperately hoping and praying that you wouldn’t notice how sharply he would breathe in everytime your hands touched his face to move its position

or that you couldn’t notice how much his hands were shaking and how he was constantly wiping them on his pants because they were very sweaty

finally, you had all the information you needed

as you stepped back and over to your chair in front of the clay, doyoung could finally breath

“doyoung, do you have any other classes today? i don’t want to keep you here if you have plans. you can go i can work off of the reference pictures”

he very vigorously shook his head

“no no, i’m free for the day.”

“okay. you should probably go get something to eat while get this started. this will probably be a long process.”

“yeah sure. do you want me to grab you anything while I’m gone?”

“nope i’m good. i already had the sandwich you brought me.”

“okay then i’ll be right back”

after he left it easy to feel the emptiness of the room

even though you were enveloped in your work it was still noticeable

the absence of his presence was palpable

the lack of it was almost suffocating

while you were worked on getting the basic shape and structure you found yourself unsettled

unable to get back into the ‘zone’ you found yourself in before

still, you pushed through the weird shift in the air, but it wasn’t long before doyoung came back with a bag of food

“hey doyoung.”

he glanced over at your pile of clay

“whoa. you made a lot of progress. okay i know you said that you didn’t want anything to eat but i brought burgers and some chips and stuff just in case.

“doyoung, you really didn’t have to. i would have been fine.”

he rolled his eyes but didn’t reply. he simply sat back in his chair and ate some of the fries that came with his burger

the hours seemed to fly by once doyoung returned

it also helped that you played music on the speaker that you brought

before you knew it, it was 5 pm and the sun was setting

you leaned back from your chair to stretch before standing and taking a good look at the sculpture

after about 4 hours of work, you were almost done

of course there were still things that needed to be touched up, like the hair and the eyes

you had decided on a pose of doyoung looking up and off into the distance

you turned and washed your hands in the sink at the back of the room

“here’s your burger if you want it. it might be a little cold, but it doesn’t have any mustard, lettuce, tomato, or pickle. that’s how you like it right?”

YALL HE DID IT AGAIN

HE REALLY JUST OUT HERE BEIN A WHOLE SWEETHEART

“yeah, how’d you know?”

“remember we met up for dinner before a study session a few weeks ago? that’s how you ordered your burger and you told me about how dill pickles were the bane of your existence”

 “which they are” you chuckled “but i can’t believe you remembered that”

“of course, i did. i remember everything you tell me”

your heart melted for like the fiFTH TIME TODAY

you smiled and blushed before grabbing the wrapped burger from his hands

you guys sat and ate in comfortable silence

once you had finished you turned to him

“if you’re ready to leave you can. i just have a few things to add but it’ll be okay if you aren’t here. i’m just about out of daylight anyway.”

he playfully cocked his head to the side and crossed his arms

“y/n. i have a feeling you’re trying to get rid of me”

“maybe i am doyoung. whatcha gonna do about it?”

“cry.”

you both busted up laughing

once you had calmed down you looked at him

“seriously do. if you wanna go study or sleep or something go ahead”

he stood up and began to walk closer to you

“oh stop that. y/n it isn’t a burden for me to stay here with you. i’m honored that you would choose me to be the subject of your work and i love spending my time with you”

at this point he was standing right in front of you. looking down into your eyes.

there was no hiding the redness flushing your skin

after a few moments of silence, you looked back down at your hands

he speaks again as if you two hadn’t spent the past minute just staring into each other’s eyes

“so what next? are you gonna keep sculpting me or are you gonna draw and paint a bit?”

“ummm ,,, i kinda want to just finish the sculpture so that i don’t have to worry about it ya know?”

“yeah. where is the light switch?”

“right by the corner near the door”

as he flipped on the switch and light once again flooded the room

you were able to get a good look at the sculpture

despite it not being finished, you were still incredibly happy and proud of it

you sat back down in front of it ready to finish the work

it only took another hour or two to finish once you really got back into it

you spent the bulk of the time adding in all the little details

and you also decided last minute to add a wreath atop his head and the top of a toga

you took a final step back before sighing in relief

you were finished

you almost wanted to cry

while you were staring at the piece doyoung got up to stand behind you and look at it as well

“wow y/n. it’s beautiful.”

“well it’s you so i hope it is.”

LOOK AT YOU. BEING BOLD. OKAAYYYY

before he could say anything else, you walked back to the sink and while washing your hands, asked his help to put it in another room to dry for a few days before it goes into the kiln

“it’ll take a while to dry so i’m going to leave it here and head to bed”

“okay well i can walk you back to your apartment”

“alrighty”

okay so you grabbed all your stuff (with his help because doyoung is too nice to just walk beside you as you try carry 4 different bags filled with art supplies)

the walk back was kind of uneventful

you invited him in to drop all your things off before he headed out, not until you thanked him for spending the day with you and being your subject

okay so 2 weeks pass

you and doyoung meet up a few times because you need him to model a few poses for your portfolio

but FINALLY you finished your portfolio and sculpture and turned it all in

since then you have been relaxing, getting ready for winter break

well “relaxing” is a loose term

tbh you had been kinda stressed over the scores you were going to get on the artwork

and today, the day before the quarter ends, your professor would be handing back your portfolio & sculpture with a score

you decided to text doyoung after getting dismissed from class

y/n: “hey i get the score for my art project back today. do you want to meet up and we can find out together?”

doyoung: “oh my gosh yes. but are you sure you want me to be there?”

y/n: “of course do. you were such a big part of this, i couldn’t leave you out of it. besides you haven’t seen the finished portfolio”

doyoung: “okay. same art room as last time?”

y/n: “yep. i’ll see you in 20”

you were nervous. as you waited in the room, your legs couldn’t stay still so you decided to pace in hopes of calming yourself down

or at least having something to do

when he walked into the room, your eyes met

there was no hiding the frantic look in them either

“hey y/n. do you have it?”

you pulled a card from inside the front of your portfolio and set it down on the table

doyoung’s voice was soft and calming as he walked up to you

“can i look at it?”

he picked up the large folder

in a large gold print:

PROMETHEUS, he dies everyday but wouldn’t wish for any other way to spend eternity

“you chose me to represent Prometheus? what’s his story”

you began to recount the tale as doyoung slowly flipped through pages of your artwork

·         “well he was the youngest of the titans, which were the creators of greek gods. it was said that he was also the kindest. when he looked upon the earth and saw how the humans were struggling, Prometheus felt pity and decided to give them a gift. he gave them a divine secret of the gods. he gave them fire. he did this despite knowing that Zeus would punish him if he found out. which he did. the other titans and gods were furious, so they tied him to a rock near the sea. every day an eagle would come and rip out prometheus’ liver and he would die. every night it would grow back bringing him back to life. this torturous routine goes on every day and night and according to the myth it continues until this day, as it will forever.”

as you finished the story doyoung closed the folder

all he said was “wow”

it made you nervous. “so ,,,,, do you like it?”

“y/n. this is beyond words. this is amazing. and you chose me?”

“well yeah i mean. you two just seemed to fit each other. you are the kindest person i know. you’re very generous too. so really it wouldn’t have worked if i had chosen anyone else or any other myth.”

he said nothing. just set down your work and hugged you.

you embraced each other. sharing this moment.

“y/n no matter the score on the other side of that car, just know that your work is beyond incredible. not just because it’s of me”

you both laughed before he continued

“seriously. you are an amazing artist. your art moves people. it makes me feel emotions that i haven’t felt in a while. it takes me on a journey.”

he pulled back and gave you one last smile before grabbing the card off of the table

“on 3”

“….1”

“….2”

“….3!”

a 97 was written in bright red marker

“oh my gosh y/n”

you two jumped back into each other’s arms

the smile on your face was ear to ear. there was no way it was going to fade any time soon

“I knew you could do it.”

“not without you i couldn’t have,” you say leaning back slightly, your arms still around his neck

he rolls his eyes at you

“seriously doyoung. if you hadn’t come by that day i don’t know what i would have done. you were my muse”

his arms were wrapped tightly around your waist

your eyes would have met if his weren’t staring at your lips right now

“y/n.” he whispered

“doyoung?”

“can i kiss you?”

“absolutely”

FUCKING FINALLY

ahem sorry I got a little excited for you

it was great. what can i say

it was everything you expected to be

before you thought that the whole “fireworks” thing was just movies overexaggerating

 but NOW you can attest to that

the kiss with doyoung had so much built up tension and caring and passion and just wowza

when you finally pulled apart

both of you were slightly out of breath

doyoung still had this cute, dumb smile plastered on his face

he gave you a few more pecks

which of course made you have a big dumb smile plastered on your face

you actually pulled apart and out of his arms this time and took a look at the score card

beneath your score the professor left a little note

“i hope you don’t mind but i emailed the art gallery about your work. they have a small exhibition open if you’d like to showcase your art. here’s the email: ­­­­­­_______. please consider it. you have serious talent.”

“an art gallery doyoung. an exhibition in an art gallery.”

tears fell down your face

this was an amazing opportunity

a dream came true

“i can come over tonight and we can email them.”

you just nodded your head

tbh you were still in shock

this was a huge opportunity

“so y/n. i know there is a lot going on right now but I can’t wait. will you be my girl/boy-friend?

“doyoung of course. can you help me take this stuff back to my apartment then if you want we can go grab something to eat?”

he nodded happily and grabbed the sculpture

THE END

goodness gracious that took a while

I hope you enjoyed reading this 5 thousand-word trainwreck

I know some of the stuff about creating sculptures isn’t accurate, but I need to make it work with the timeline I had in my head

I hope it didn’t bother anyone too much

but yeah

thanks for reading

also I didn’t proofread this so hopefully there aren’t many mistakes

if there are just message me and I’ll fix them

also also here’s a sequel type thing that doesn’t have to be seen as a sequel umm it isn’t as good as this one but here ya go

·         

[0daytrick0]

Week 3 University

So, week 3. Only feels like I just wrote my last blog post 😅.

Well... So far I have managed to complete 1 quiz of 12 as well as three modules worth 5% each.

It's been tough, and I still have a lot of catching up to do. But, in saying that, what I have managed to complete I have gained high grades for. Not only that, but what I am up to date with, I am doing well in.

I still have a lot of work to do tomorrow. One of which includes me going out to print my online notes. Another includes me studying math and doing revision so I can complete my next quiz and smash my module next week.

I haven't had to work much. But, this is partly due to me being very specific on what hours I will work. I want every second Saturday off so that every fortnight I can have a break from both work and studies so that I don't suffer from burnout. Or, in worse cases... Depression.

Through my years of schooling I have had a constant battle of balance in my life. I have often fallen in many dark depths because of choosing the grind over my mental health.

Since meeting my partner, this has changed heaps. Having that support to rely on, no matter what, really does make all the difference. And for that I am always grateful. But, I still need to keep that balance as there is only so much I can rant about before I need to take action.

My job can be difficult as I am only a casual worker. So, they will call me AT LEAST once a week to come in on one of my rostered days off. Not only this, but the hours I am available tend not to suit them enough. When I first started, all I got was hours, covering everyone and working shifts on my own. But now, with me doing uni full time, I have put my foot down quite constantly with when I am available—one concerning this weekend. Long story short, I have been asking for weeks to have every second Saturday off, and finally, this week, I got it. But then my manager asked me to work it since I'm still on the roster (as he didn't fix it as we discussed). I lost my bananas (calmly) and proceeded to send him a firm message about how I won't since I had made plans and how we discussed twice about him fixing my roster. This seemed to get through to him.

Luckily for me, my partner works hard long hours so that I can have this privilege to study more than I work whilst living on our own. As I said, I am very lucky to have him 🥰.

I have a lot of assessments, modules and quizzes due this month, but if I keep the grind, I will manage.

I'm still trying to time manage better. I seem to be more productive with studying in the afternoons to early night. During the mornings I always find myself getting distracted. First it will start with eating breakfast and watching a YouTube video. One YouTube video will turn into two. Then before I know it, I have watched a bunch of other people study and manage their lives whilst im still sitting there with my empty plate of crunchy peanut butter toast.

To make matters worse, when I do finally sit down, one of my dogs will bark, so I will get up to go investigate. This usually leads me to then hang outside for the next half an hour sitting in the sun with them.

Sometimes when I come back inside, I will at least put a lecture on, but get distracted with household chores such as laundry and dishes.

In summary, I procrastinate a lot. But with productive things at least! (Such as writing this blog post 😶).

Today in general I have felt very tired. I woke up with my partner and stayed up. Usually I fall back asleep until my own alarm goes off, but not this time. Because of this, my eyes have felt so tired and I have had a lack of motivation to properly complete tasks. I somehow got everything that I wanted to get completed, done. But I still feel like I haven't achieved enough today. Hopefully that will change tomorrow when I go to the uni campus do print my notes. Maybe I will come back a little inspired.

Anywho, that's enough from me for now. I shall drop in next week.

[sandbitch]

hey guys! my dash is a bit empty right now and i need some new blogs to follow so if you post LOW QUALITY SHIT reblog this post and ill be sure to check out your blog!

[koishua]

Make sure to take of yourself tho okay? Just cuz you have work doesn't mean you aren't allowed to sacrifice your health and well being for the corrupted school system :) I can feel your pain, I have a month worth of recorded classes to watch, 3 lab books to write and I'm pretty sure we are getting surprise quizzes as soon as we step into the school campus tomorrow :(

I have nothing against sports, quite liked them when I was being active and gave us a wind of fresh air instead of being stuck in class for 8 hours.

........I did basketball- was part of the house team till I quit in my last year. I did however do track, throw ball and played occasional batminton but never did them in like for competitions :3 just for fun

Parkour is cool, wish we had that. I always quite liked watching people parkour around the neighborhood but my now week legs would kill me if I did anything now also scared of breaking a leg so that's not happening :) - 🐡

oh dw about me taking breaks. i sit down on a chair for two minutes to do something other than paint and my lights go out 😩 i am incapable of studying for long except while cramming :')

the recordings. oh the pain they are ;-; man, i feel bad for you :(( how long do the lab books take you to write on average? i have always romanticised being an older, more matured student, but the way they seem to fling assignments at you left and right as you grow up makes me go 🥴

no oops im sorry you're the exception to the basketball thing 😭✊— aww :( do you still play it on your own? i can't imagine quitting my team rn, so just wondering. and track??? as in,,,, ;-; the running over things??? that track? track & field?? oh dear. i absolutely despise running for long 💀 i have terrible. t e r r i b l e stamina. like, i pretty much could never properly complete our bi-yearly 800m running test ;-; preferred the sit-ups and push-ups over ANYTHING.

parkouring is an exception to the running rule, bc you also need agility, balance and strength and all just as much as running, so it's pretty doable.... still reconsidering it bc of that ankle tho :')

[magicalgirlpropaganda]

Srry very emotional because ive been working a lot and i dont think im taking care of myself like i should be. Im alright, but i have a heavy workload so im working a lot. And im alright with that and im very proud of myself because i have A's in all my classes but I need to rest. I like to cram all my work into a few days so i have a few days to just rest and perhaps some light studying or planning for next week. But mostly rest. So i have a longer weekend (i get fridays off) but a much busier week. All i have is mostly art projects to do and study for a quiz tomorrow (it's on Friday. I usually dont work then because its an online class so i just get it done in one day but for Quizzes they are due Friday. )

I like working the way i am and its a good schedule but im exhausted now. And my friends are also busy so we occasionally meet but not as much as the first week or so. And so i kinda miss them. We meet for dinner sometimes but i have a friend whose actually way busier and i don't understand how she finishes all of her work. She's so busy and tired and i just miss her a lot... And im just thinking back to middle school and stuff and i rlly miss my friends because im lonely and exhausted. Ill get used to it though. Im not being overworked, i just choose to work at a fast pace because thats what works for me due to adhd and anxiety. Its exhausting but its going well.

Anyways im going off on a tangent. Im gonna finish up some homework and start on my two art projects. My art classes are my favorite so while I'd rather be doing something other than working, i don't mind doing work for my art classes. I also should study history for my quiz but i will probably do that after I rest.

Idk i have had a few friends on discord and stuff worried but im alright. Same amount of work as everyone else is, maybe even less than some. But i just work differently. I just need to learn to pace myself a little more than i am so i can take care of myself. Aaaaaaaaaaa

Kind of a nonsensical rant thats all over the place. Im rlly exhausted and emotional and hungry and i should probably sleep because ive been working a lot and i forgot to take my medicine and im rlly emotional.

(Tw islamaphobia, sexual harassment, religious discriminatio , venting about trauma)

Honestly other than the bullying and waking up early, i didnt rlly mind high school. I hated it and it was genuinely rlly fucking awful but that was because people didn't treat me well and i had to wake up early and i was struggling in classes. Like if people were nice to me and i could wake up just a bit later, i would have had the high school experience that people have in movies. Like i would've had such a good experience. Because hard assignments suck ass but i genuinely do enjoy that sort of stuff. Now i dont appreciate how in college i have tons of work and i work for hours a day in my dorm to get it done, but i genuinely enjoy going to a lot of my classes and look forward to them because like. Humans like learning. Humans dont like school but they like learning. Idk like i just enjoy college because its rlly hard but the people here treat me like a person. They're like "you're an adult. You have to treat me with respect, but you're an adult". And like. Yeah, i think if teachers treated students in high school and below as people it would be better. Like not like an equal because there's a power dynamic, but just with basic human respect (Megumi Sakura from School Live being my comfort character bcs of that) And there were tons of teachers in high school who did that (I miss my german teacher so much, at the graduation walkthrough i saw her and like i almost cried I MISS U SO MUCH 😭) but like i think all teachers should try to be like that.

And also some ppl might dislike it because high school is fucking hard (for me i did okay but i struggled in some classes but i know plenty of ppl who struggled much more than me) and i wish teachers were more understanding and knew that they weren't just troubled kids who wanted to be bad to look cool. Most of them genuinely try so hard and whenever i see a kid struggle with school, it breaks my heart because i struggled so much in middle school and i know that its so damaging and you feel so stupid. But those kids aren't stupid, they're really smart most of the time. And sometimes they even understand the work but just have trouble because of a bad home life, bad mental health, bullying, heavy workload, or other factors in general. I knew a person who was my friend (they were kind of a bully to me and others and that was wrong... But he was a kid and i hope he can get more mature. I do not forgive him for what he did to me and everyone else but he was my friend and he was just a kid and i hope he's in a better place now, even if he was toxic and a bully. He probably learned his lesson by now and i just hope he's happy.) He was struggling in math and i think he got held back and hasnt graduated yet because of it. But he worked so hard every day and had a job and took care of his siblings and was always tired. And he worked harder than almost anyone i know so i dont like ppl calling kids who struggle "lazy" because they're not.

I struggled in middle school because i understood the concepts but i had a lot of missing assignments due to bad mental health and bullying. And i genuinely am a big nerd and i loved science but in my first year science class, a group of juniors/seniors catcalled me, sexually harassed me, discriminated against me due to my religion (i was an athiest back then. Not saying athiests are oppressed, but i was bullied for it because i lived in the bible belt and everyone was Christian. But i got bullied for being an athiest, who are widely accepted in America for the most part. And like. Off topic but i had a friend who was muslim and in 7th grade i hung out. In 8th grade i was excited to see her again but i heard she moved. Then after that, i heard ppl calling her a terrorist and saying that they're glad she went back to her country. And i think i got in trouble a few times for yelling at them but i miss her so much. She moved away... I think it may have been because she was bullied so much. And i try to be accepting to everyone but i really fucking hate everyone at my middle school/high school who was like that because they were mean to everyone who wasnt like them. And i miss her so much and i dont know what happened to her and im so mad that those kids were mean to her. I just wanna see her again and know that shes better because she was my friend when almost nobody else would be and she was there for me when i was going through a tough time. If it wasnt for that small group of friends i had, i wouldn't have gotten through middle school. High school was way better but it still sucked and idk. I know its off topic but i want to know that she's alright ig.)

[apical-meristem]

two exams tomorrow !! todays been my first really stable/feeling normal day mentally after a week of low days so im grateful for that. i just printed my 19 page abpsych study guide (not even the final exam, just one exam 😭) and have an even bigger packet of notes and quizzes for my last neuro exam. and then next week is finals week and thats the end of my first year at university already. ive made some tea to drink while reading my psych notes im feeling p good now :^)

[softshouyous-archive]

/

[wow-kitten]

Mind if I add a few?

I honestly hope that the school burns down (said three separate times)

If we get into a fight right here right now we won't have to worry about school for the next few days

I hope a car hits me on the way here

*reaching for jar of laundry detergent that I am using my height to hold away* let me drink it!

"Have you eaten anything?" 'no' "why" 'not hungry/didn't have time' "dude you need to fucking eat" 'im good'

"I'll shoot you if you shoot me" 'im not letting either of you die' "we'll shoot you too" '. . . Alright, I'm in'

God I can't wait to be able to move out and get away from my parents (there's a legitimate reason for that, its not edgy teenager stuff, Its not serious enough for me to call CPS but I really wanna help them get out of that house)

Nobodys willing to shoot me

I had a panic attack in the bathroom but I'm all good now

I don't feel like I'm learning anything, i spend hours going over the material and I've still failed all the quizzes/tests (they tried moderating how much they studied to, and that didn't work. You're failing at your job, teach.)

If someone dies during exams everyone gets an automatic A. I'll take the bullet guys(I have heard this more times than I should have)

I cant do this homework because my parents won't let me use the computer

Hey dude can you kill me so I don't have to go to school tomorrow? "No, if I have to be in this hell so do you" you'll be in jail for murder "oh right. Let's do this then. Give me a time and date"

"hey will you shoot me?" 'only if you can do a British accent.' "well shit"

If a shooter comes use me as a meat sheild

I *have* to turn in this assignment on time or I'll be grounded for two weeks

Let me drink bleach and just end it

End me /'no'\ why

Here I'll stab you so you don't have to come to school anymore

God a coma sounds so nice right now

I stayed up until 4am working on the history paper. I'm fine with two hours of sleep.

I can fasten my hoodie string into a noose and fit it around my neck, how convenient

Do I really need to be at school?

I'm going to drop out and become a stripper "mind if I join you?"

I would shoot myself but my dogs need me

I embrace the sweet release of death

I'm not going to make through high school/middle school

Will someone p l e a s e just end my suffering already

I couldn't do all my homework last night so I have to do it before class/just won't turn it in at all

My backpack weighs like, 20 pounds (some do, our English books weigh 11 pounds just by themselves)

I don't have time to eat in the morning so I just dont

I honestly don't think I'll live past my 20s "same"

We're all gonna die anyway so no point in doing this assignment I guess

There's a rant in my tags and a bit after this so you can just,,,,,, ignore that if you want. But yeah baby boomers and like,,,, people older than gen z really need to fucking talk to, listen to, and not interrupt or link their own personal opinion to what we have to say. So many problems can be solved if a lot of adults would remove the stick up their asses and just listened to us. You're making a bad works for us, and if you don't try to help fix it we won't try to remember you fondly. If we even survive till you're gone.

Depressing things I’ve heard Gen Z kids say

As written by a Gen Z kid

I don’t even care anymore

How many jobs do you think I can get on a middle school education

Fuck the school

I’m just going to be homeless when I’m older

I’ll never find a job

What if I don’t get into college

I can’t wait until we go up to the high school and get out of this hell hole

What if I’m accidentally outed

I’m running on anxiety and spite

Presenting gives me anxiety

I actually cried over this last night

Some days I don’t want to exist at all

I’m going to go home and cry

I’m going to go bald at 14 from stress

Somebody just stab me

Generation Z kids are here, and we are very, very afraid for our futures.

[seokedinsunshine]

70 questions

I was tagged by @adevilkissedme Cool.

1. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yes. <3 <3

2. Who did you last say “i love you” to? My mom

Do you regret anything? When I don’t study correctly for a test

4. Are you insecure? Not really (I’m not conceited either)

5. What is your relationship status? I have friends

6. How do you want to die? Don’t want to think about it but painlessly

7. What did you last eat? Pizza

8. Played any sports? Marching band, soccer (football)

9. Do you bite your nails? No

10. When was your last physical fight? Does it count if it’s with my cousins asserting dominance over each other? Because I don’t fight.

11. Do you like someone? No

12. Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? No

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? Not that I know of

14. Do you miss someone? Don’t we all

15. Have any pets? Sister owns a dog

16. How exactly are you feeling at the moment? I should be sleeping

17. Ever made out in the bathroom? No no no no nono nonono dude stop

18. Are you scared of spiders? Depends

19. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? No because I would change something, then regret it, then want to change it again. Too much pressure.

20. Where was the last place you snogged someone? One: Did you use that word?? Two: Nowhere never ew no stop im a minor

21. What are your plans for this weekend? Sleeping I guess

22. Do you want to have kids? How many? Cannot ask a kid if it wants to have kids. It’s weird.

23. Do you have piercings? How many? My ears were pierced like twice but I stopped wearing those kinds of earrings. Only clip-ons if I must.

24. What is/are/were your best subject(s)? In middle school: Spanish, History, Science, Band Now: Chinese, Band, History

25. do you miss anyone from your past? Refer to question 14.

26. What are you craving right now? I hate the word craving but jollof rice

27. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I wouldn’t know.

28. Have you ever been cheated on? You can’t be cheated on if you don’t date. *insert guy tapping head meme*

29. Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? can’t if you don’t date

30. What’s irritating you right now? Me not going to sleep when I have quizzes and tests tomorrow and a mini concert

31. Does somebody love you? Yes, my family :)

32. What is your favourite color? Blue is great but I like all colors

33. Do you have trust issues? I am selective with my trust

34. Who/what was your last dream about? Don’t remember

35. Who was the last person you cried in front of? The band but I was wearing sunglasses so...

36. Do you give out second chances too easily? Depends

37. Is it easier to forgive or forget? Depends

38. Is this year the best year of your life? I’ll be optimistic and say yes!!!11111!!1

39. How old were you when you had your first kiss? I didn’t 

40. Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Nope why 

51. Favorite food? Can’t choose just one.....but I like jollof rice

52. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Yes, very much so

53. What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? I fell asleep doing homework

54. Is cheating ever okay? No

55. Are you mean? I don’t think so. Sometimes sarcastic to my friends. They don’t care. :)

56. How many people have you fist fought? None 0

57. do you believe in true love? No

58. Favorite weather? The feeling when it’s really hot before band practice and you know it’s going to be a long few hours but it’s worth it when you walk back into the cool building

59. Do you like the snow? I’ve seen snow once or twice. It was cool.

60. Do you wanna get married? I’ll let you know after college. 

61. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Strange does this happen to people?

62. What makes you happy? Getting enough sleep.

63. Would you change your name? Certainly not.

64. Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? No, never done that before

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Idk

66. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Yes

67. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? My sister’s dog

68. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? I don’t have deep conversations

69. do you believe in soulmates? I don’t know.

70. is there anyone you would die for? I don’t know

Not a part of this but my question: Why are the numbers messed up?^^ The questions skip numbers.

@fyhjjxxn @chlexcer @seventeen-24 @eibi @princess-infinity @narcissisthyeyeon but you don’t have to.